Post  18…April 2023…Why do we choose to make bad decisions

All of our lives, we’ve been struggling with just how it is that we ought to decide. We get up each day and wham…we must start making decisions.  Some we just do automatically, but others we have to stop and think about. 

What will we do today?  Why are we going to do it?  Should we be doing it?  Is it a right decision or a wrong decision?  But I want to toss this into this also…is what we choose to do pleasing to God?  If not…then why do it? 

In our mind, we can even make up lists in our brain (I’m a list person so I get this one, and maybe you hate lists…but a list can keep you focused on what is right and what is wrong.

I have family members who absolutely hate lists.  Yet, I can tell you that my lists and going over them and being sure they were pretty complete has been good to me and to my family.  Take camping for instance.  When we used to go camping I used to make a list (long list of course) as to what to take, for how many days, and medical stuff in case someone got hurt.  I would gather my list, mark it off and put it in either the car or by whatever means we were going to go camping.  I can’t even tell you how many times…my dumb list was used because someone needed something from it. And also my lists for getting things done…no matter what occasion it might be.  I just like lists.  Okay…that is not you and I get that, but it sure has made my life work more efficient. 

So another kind of list can be ones for morality and what is good or not good to do.  Yeah, not a fun list for sure, but it will show you what you are doing is either right and will please God, or it is wrong and God won’t be pleased.  You write down things and you think about them.  Will what you are considering doing bring good results or bad one?  Will there be good come from what you want to do…or will what you are contemplating bring consequences for your choice of action?  If it would bring any type of consequences then why would you choose to do that? 

You can even add a column of how you are feeling when you are contemplating doing something.  Are you mad? Angry? Discouraged? Have anxiety? Who will it please for you to do it? Is it really something that you want to do? Should you do it?  If you choose not to do it when someone else feels you should do it, then by not doing it what will really happen?  Sometimes in life we just need to learn to say no!!! If you say no then what actually will happen?  Will someone be mad at you?  But again ask yourself would God be mad at you? If He would then don’t do it no matter what the person(s) try to get you to do.  Doing God’s will is way more important. 

The right decision is a choice that you need to consider. Is what you are thinking of doing morally and ethically rational, based on available information, and made after careful consideration of the possible outcomes and consequences? Is what you are contemplating doing good for you? Others? And again, if not…why would you do them?  Is what you are contemplating a good and moral choice to do in the eyes of God?

What we do, say, think in life by our decisions should align with God’s values and not culture’s values, the government’s values, or the goals and decisions that others (no matter who they are) try to get us to do.  Again, if what we are contemplating doing is against what God says is right to do.  Don’t do them.  It is God we must please and not man.  Who will be affected by our choice? 

It is a decision that aligns with one’s values, goals, and objectives and considers the needs and interests of others affected by the decision. Is their need and their interest in what we do okay with what God says about it?  Do we compromise wrong to make others feel better about themselves?  Should we?  We can love those we disagree with without doing what God would not want us to do.  Each of  us in life has to make choices.  Compromising God’s word so someone can feel better about their sin…is wrong and we should not be doing it.  They might be mad we don’t go along with wrong, but it is God they need to deal with.  Saying no…doesn’t mean I don’t love them nor care for them.  It just means that I am going to choose to do right in God’s eyes no matter what they want me to do or think I should do.  Love doesn’t mean I have to agree with wrong nor accept their choices even if schools, government, medical etc., tell me I must go along with it.  No, I won’t and no, I don’t have to.  My goal in life is to do the will of God and I can still love people that I don’t agree.  I don’t wish them any harm, I just don’t want to please them overpleasing God even if they reject me for my decisions.

When we make a right decision no matter what consequences the world dishes out to us we can still have God’s peace in our heart.  Our decisions that we choose to do or not to do….need to be made with a clear and rational mind, free from bias, emotions, or external pressure. While the outcome of a decision may not always be favorable, the right decision is based on sound reasoning and judgment to do what is best in the given situation, and should always be one that will please God no matter what it might cost us on our walk through life. 

It is not always easy to make quick choices in doing things.  We need to pray, especially about important things before we go off and do them.   Right decision-making can be a great skill to master. Right decision-making refers to choosing among all the options that seem right for the individual, organization, country, or world. All right decisions are not as impactful as few are.

To be honest in my long life…I did make choices that were wrong and I totally regretted it and still do.  My pleasing others to justify my wrong choices in my life were 100% wrong.  We all want people to be happy with us, but that is not always possible.  Sometimes we can even lose those we love dearly if/when we choose to do right over wrong.  Many people will never understand why we can’t just do what they want even though we know inside our soul that if we do it…God won’t like it.  God is my final decision-maker…but I must give Him the opportunity by His word/truth to let me know if what I am thinking about is godly or not godly to do.  Some things can look okay but be way off. 

Not everyone can muster the courage to make honest godly and bold decisions the first time and be confident about their success. What about you? Do you make a lot of the right decisions every day? How do they turn out to be? Even though we can make great and godly decisions more and more in our life doesn’t mean people will approve of them, like us for our decisions, and for a season we can even feel maybe we made the wrong decision somehow.  If what we decide lines up with the truth of God’s word…then eventually the truth will come out and we will understand what we did was the right choice.

What about any career changes you might be considering?  Why do you want that position?  Do you want to climb the ladder as such no matter whom you might have to step on to get there?  Do you realize God can make a position for you that would never have to hurt someone else to get a good job you want.  Are the people you would be dealing with be good for you and your career and are they not only what some think reputable, but are they godly and honest? Some people and some companies are just not a place God would want you to be.  Best be asking God for your career moves.

Now everyone makes decision primarily based on the given moment in time! Sometimes we don’t have a lot of time to choose, but say a prayer first.  Don’t jump into something you didn’t ask God about first.  God is way smarter than we all are.

We can, and many times, have time restraints or what might even seem like crazy things to consider.   You will not be able to know everything about everything. When a career decision is due, your time is limited to making the right decision. So what would you do then? You need to know your limitations. Thus it’s always better if you can set a series of constraints. With a career…what would it entail?  Do you need to move? Can you move? Who and what it would entail moving with your family?  Do you need to sell a home? Do your kids change schools? What grades are they in and how will a move really affect them?   Is your spouse really okay with the move?  Did you discuss all the good or bad with them and pray so  you came to a right choice? How are the finances and can you deal with those right now?

 

There are different types of decisions.  Remember that list I talked about?  Make a list for yourself.  Is the choice you need to make a long-term choice, or short-term?  What about your finances, will they be okay?  These things make a difference if they are important.  Sometimes even the right choice can impact your life and those around you for a season.  Make sure that you spouse is also okay with the restraints of change.

Some choices that seem easy are not really easy at all.  Money is not everything. Take into consideration also where you will be living, the cost of living there, the crime there, and so on.  You could make a lot of money and be afraid to even go out and do anything.  If the place is in a crime area do you want to put your family through that for that job? 

Stop!  Really, when it comes to a job what are you looking for?  Not just a job but any decision you find yourself having to make.  What exactly are you looking for? Can you close your eyes and visualize it?  Is it good for you (in God’s opinion), and it is good for your family or is it just about money and position?

You matter, your spouse (if married) matters, and if you have kids they matter.  What choices we all make in life most times affect other people so we need to be doing godly things, making godly choices, and praying a whole bunch.

We all need to learn to tell the truth of God’s word no matter who stands with us.  People won’t always like us.  The truth frees us and gives us God’s peace in our soul, but the truth can also cause rejection and even down-right persecution. 

Some of us like to just go ahead and make automatic decisions when we have not even sat and thought about them.  When we make automatic decisions things don’t always work out really well for us.  In fact, automatic decisions can make poor choices.

    Also, don’t be biased, don’t be racist, and don’t sit around and diss other people because they don’t think as you do.  Everyone has an opinion and makes bad choices. 

    As I have said many times in my writings I am old.  That’s okay.  I have had a long life and even though I did make many bad choices in my life, I finally found the truth of God and He is not only my Rock…He is my everything.  I need Him and  that does not make me weak.  I don’t always get what I want in life, and things are far from peachy keen, but God carries me through even in those times I do not get it.  Even now, when I try to do His will and His way…sometimes I do mess up and God tugs on my spirit to get be back on track.  I don’t want to displease God any longer so I try to listen even more.  Getting old is not a bad thing.  Oh, it has its challenges for sure.  Bodies start to fall apart and things don’t work so good now days.  My brain is wanting to do all the things I liked doing, but my body says…hey…stop…that is way to much for now.  If I can do something I will try to do it, but I have learned over the years that old age has placed restrictions on certain thing now days.  Going easy gets me there but hopping into something without weighing the issues for safety nowadays…would not be a good thing. 

We all have choices and we all have had some type of past experiences in our life.  Those things we did are in our minds even when we wish they were not there.  You do realize that once you become a Christian (for real) your life starts being transformed.  You are no longer the person you once were and some people will never let your past go.  They want to forever define you my the mistakes you made.  Maybe you even do that to them as well.  You can’t make people like you or want to be in your life.  You can offer them your love, friendship, and all that goes with it…but they might not accept it.  In fact, they might spend the rest of their life hating you or thinking bad of you.  Just do your best, be honest with your life, stay focused on Jesus, and give Him your situation.  Maybe He will put the person(s) back in your life, or maybe He will say…no way Jose! 

Oh, am I a multitasker.  I can read, watch TV, cook, clean and whatever it might be like all at once…while I know some people who can’t even seem to do one thing.  I do, at times, try to juggle way too much at once and have to stop and take a step back.  That is okay.  The older one gets it seems the more step backs one must take.  I want to make wise choices in my life and so I have found that slowing down so I can things done right is more important than having more on my plate while not so much can get done.

I have had a lot on my plate as of late that is the truth.  Some day are very difficult and I just get mind fatigue.  Only so much can fit in my brain to do at any given time.  That being the case I need to step back and look at my list and prioritize them as to what is more important.  Oh, how I love those lists.  Without my lists I sure have found that I get overly stressed and anxious.  I just when I start to feel that way…sit down, pray, and ask God what He feels is most important for me to do.  Most of us have a Martha and Mary hanging out in us. 

Okay…prioritize important decisions.  And yes, pray and pray more.  God will help you if you are truly committed to giving Him your day and your time, and your situation.

Listen:  Now……………………….start to eliminate all the unnecessary distractions.  They just seem to pop out of nowhere don’t they?  Life is full of distractions.  They want our time, our energy, and our attention…but we only have so much time to give to them so what we need to do is sit down, pray, and ask God what needs to be eliminated at this time so we can get things done. 

Consider options.  We all can find a few options so we can make it through.  Weigh those options.  Put them down and what can you keep and what can you get rid of?  Now, take a God break and give Him your situation.  He is great at this part.  Stop what you are doing especially if you are feeling overwhelmed, angry, anxious, and so on.  Take time to quiet your soul because in the state you would be in you really won’t make the right decision very often.

We won’t always make the right choice, but if we do these things we will make them more and more often in life.  We all have, even if we don’t want to admit it, made bad choices and sometimes we did those out of emotion and not our of godly reason.  Why do human beings make bad choices and remain committed to them even when they prove disastrous? The answer is complex and has a lot to do with the individual making the choice. But in general, bad choices have to do with acting out of emotion and not out of reason.

I know over my “long years of life” unfortunately I did some things out of strong emotions.  I let emotions cloud my brain and thinking.  I didn’t take the time to stop and really think before making the choices I did and I know I sure didn’t weight the consequences of my own actions or how they might affect those I dearly love and loved.   Acting on emotion and not reason can lead us down one rabbit hole after another since we may attempt to justify our choice by making other bad choices.

If I stop to think for a moment…let’s say…about politics and government I can get quite worked up indeed.  I see so much evil, pain, and lies out there that my mind would just want to smack some sense into the liars, but what would that do?  I don’t like 90% or more of what is going on in my country and around the world.  Evil is all around us, but I know that God is still in charge and in His timing He is coming to take His bride/the church home and I look and hope for that you me, for my family, and for anyone who wants Jesus in their life. 

    There have been times I felt I even doubled down on my bad choices in life and even though not on purpose…they were really dumb choices and they hurt those I loved.  I can’t change even one thing I did in my past…but God did correct me, has worked on me so I don’t do those same dumb things again, and every day He works on transforming me to be what His plan is for me.  All my doubled-down disasters in life were horrible choices and I am truly sorry/repented of them.  If we could change the past I know most of us would do it in a heartbeat, but we can’t.  We can learn from our choices/mistakes, and ask God to totally transform us and He will.  I don’t think it is a one time thing…every day God works on my soul, my heart, my reasonings, and shows me something I need to do, say, think, or feel about something.  My God is so amazing and I love Him so much.

Gut feelings are not accurate most of the time.  Even our gut can be wrong.  I had to learn that I needed to admit I was a sinner, that I sinned and confess those things, and ask God to change me into the person He wanted me to be.  All I know is my Lord is so smart and loves me so much that He wants me in heaven with Him, and if He has to correct me why should I get upset. 

So why do we make bad decisions?  What are we going to choose to do about them?  I hope this helped you some.  If it did then please share it with someone.  God bless you!