Most all of us (all really) have been hurt and we all, even when not on purpose, have hurt others as well. You know you have so don’t deny it. We all have been on both sides of this.
So let’s talk today about hurts. How many things in your life have you declared a hurt? Was it all really a hurt? Most people have a double standard when it comes to hurting. Yours will always be worse than the one you hurt. How many are saying, “But, you don’t know what they said or did to me!” Yep, I don’t…but God does and if you are really being honest with yourself…a lot of the hurt we fee someone did to us might not have been real, might not have happened as you think you remember it, and maybe no one intentionally hurt you or caused you pain. But, we…want to remember the worst of the situation because then we don’t have to face something inside of us….like forgiveness.
Funny isn’t it how hurt people want to lash out and hurt others even if what they feel might not even be real. And what if it is real do you want to carry that pain around forever? I sure don’t.
Well, wouldn’t it be easier to confront your pain so that you can get rid of the hurt in you? We must confront it (no…you don’t have to go to the one who hurt you)…you go to God, give it to Him, and ask Him to help you. Sometimes we forgot a lot of the details of a situation…and we want to somehow keep it in our mind. But keeping it inside hurts us.
We need to process the pain, or that pain that goes unprocessed becomes self-destructive to us. When we keep the pain inside, and harbor hate and bitterness the one it hurts is us. Don’t run any longer from the pain you have been carrying around. Deal with it right now.
Many people have been greatly hurt through things like abuse…and they hold that inside. Holding inside doesn’t hurt the abuser. It hurts you. Sometimes people can’t confront the one that hurt them even from many years ago…but you can deal with the situation and you can deal with the pain of the issue that haunts your being. Your pain is very real to you but don’t you want to be set free from all of it?
How? First confront the demonic powers that were behind that situation and in your pain. It is not man we wrestle with, but against principalities. Man was used to hurt us but we need to fight in the spirit to get well for the spirit.
No, this is not always easy…but…you must choose to walk in forgiveness so that you are the one set free. It doesn’t mean that what they did is okay…it is not okay, and they may never care if you stop hurting for there are many evil people out there doing the devils’ bidding. You want your life back…then let the past go and move forward.
Many people have become like a virus. They do not even know it because in their mind they are the victim and they somehow inside want to remain that victim even if they don’t yet understand that. The devil wants you to remain the victim because then you will not confront the pain. The devil wants your life to stay toxic because it when it is toxic…you affect others with this hateful virus. You justify your pain and waller in it way longer than you ever needed to. It becomes comfortable to waller in the pain and play the victim. I’m not saying your situation didn’t happen, nor am I saying your feeling are not important…but do you really want to go through life hating and giving that person power over your life? Until people wake up and change something to help themselves…they will remain in their problems.
No one is perfect…not one. The only one ever born perfect was Jesus. No person, no church, no situation we come in contact with in life…is perfect. Everyone, every place, and everything has faults.
Sometimes the very people we go to (ungodly people…and people who won’t tell us the truth) actually hurt our situation even more. People make mistakes, take sides, and don’t always have a godly answer for you. People make mistakes! God never does!
You make be broken and have a deeply crushed spirit in you. You hurt. But lashing out at others and making other people pay for what someone else did is not a wise choice for you. A broken marriage, a cheating spouse let’s say….you get remarried yet you punish the new spouse in your mind for what the prior spouse did, said, or how they acted. Is that right? No!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes we have been so broken that we are a hazard to ourself and others without even realizing it.
The key is forgiveness. Even, if right now you think you can’t do that…just think on this. The other person might not care, maybe will never be sorry for hurting you…may never change and may never take responsibility for the pain they caused you. So because they won’t and because you can’t make them pay for hurting you…you hold onto it. The thing is it is hurting you inside and you need to let it go. It never means that you accept what they did, but you release them so you can heal.
Also, someone going around hurting others has usually been hurt as much as you have been hurt. People in pain hurt other people without even meaning to most times. It is time we take our eyes off of man and put our eyes on Jesus.
Many people hold an unhealthy expectation of people and when they do they don’t go to God who is healer of situations. How many people run to others who can’t fix their soul from hurting? Isn’t it time to go to the one who can help you?
Know this: Sometimes there is an abuse of power with our parents, guardians, leaders, pastors, teachers, government and we can get hurt in some way. Many abuse their power in other people’s lives. If we hold onto the pain it grows inside of us and we are the ones who get hurt.
Take a child learning to walk. We hold them up and see how cute it is for them to take their first steps. We ahh and help them…but there comes a time when you must let go of them and allow them to try on their own. Oh, they will fall, go bump, get a few scrapes etc…but they learn and they grow. You don’t place them on steps to learn…but in a safer place so that if they do fall it won’t hurt to bad. We have to loose our kids to learn to walk on their own. We must release them to learn.
Sometimes God allows the enemy into your territory in order to develop your spiritual mindset upon Him and not the enemy. God doesn’t want us week…He wants us to use His strength in our situations of life. We all need to learn how to stand and fight in the spirit of God.
We must be about our Father’s business and learn the lessons of life that get us to change and become all who God wants us to be. His plan for our life is way better than the plans of the enemy. We have to be willing to work through things and get better or we stay and get worse.
Forgive yourself, forgive others, and stop blaming others for everything. The blame game began in the garden of Eden. How different it would have been if they just each owned up to what they did. How many people are you personally going to blame before you let go, get up, and change?
How many people will you blame for your isolation that you yourself have caused you to live in? You cut yourself off from people, or you went totally the opposite and rebelled in awful ways…but until you take responsibility for your own choices and ask God to help you your situation will remain and you will be miserable.
Your life…..your well being in life is your responsibility. Don’t blame others for your choice in life. You have the ability to change if you want to. Your victim mentality will destroy you. The devil loves it when we are septic and whine about everything. He loves it when we lash out and blame others and rebel in life. At some point though if you want to get better then you need to go to God…and confess your feelings and sins, and ask Him to help you get better….but know this if you ask Him to help you then you will need to allow Him to do so.
How many people in your life are you going to blame for your pain? At some point you need to release your past to God and let it go. Release the guilt, the shame, the condemnation, the manipulation. Ask God to be with you from this moment forward and to take away all feeling in your heart that should not be there. Ask Him to take away your pain and help you to forgive so you an get better. Let Him know you can’t stay in this situation any longer and you want to get better. This is your breakthrough.
It is time to get up, wake up, take your problems to God…and move forward in your life. Take personal responsibility for staying stuck in the situation of your mind and let God set you free. Really….your well being now is your responsibility. Tell God you take responsibility and want to become the very person God wants you to be in life. You don’t want to remain hurting or hurting others. Ask Him to release you. You don’t have to play the victim any longer and you can be the victor of your life.
Stop venting your pain and let it go. For the more you vent your pain the longer it stays. If you don’t build your life on God you will carry the bitterness and that bitterness will eventually destroy you and others will walk out of your life because they don’t want to deal with your bitterness any longer.
Lord, I choose to from this moment on to trust you, walk with you, talk with you, take your counsel/by your word, and I receive your healing for my soul. Restore me to you, and help me see the plan you have for my life and then help me carry it out. Thank you Lord, in Jesus’ name.