Post 25   August 2023   I didn’t know it happened to boys too

Counseling time

Information for parents and caregivers of boys who have been sexually abused

What is child sexual abuse?  Child sexual abuse is a crime.  It can range from showing children sexually explicit pictures through unwanted touching and sexual intercourse.  In the vast majority of cases, the abuser will be someone the child knows and trusts.  Some people believe that only girls are sexually abused.  In reality, studies have shown that up to a third of child sexual abuse victims are male.

As a child who has been sexually abused, he may be feeling….

Guilt                     He/she only did it because I am bad

Fear                      He/she said bad things would happen if I told

Isolated                I’m the only one here being abused

Powerless            Why couldn’t I stop it from happening? 

Responsible         I made everybody cry?

Angry                   It’s just not fair or right

As a boy, he may be feeling…

Boys shouldn’t talk about their feelings

Boys should always be able to protect themselves so what is wrong with me

Boyts can’t be sad

Boys are never abused by females

Boys are abused go on to abuse others

Being abused a s a child will change the way they feel about women and

          Sex in their life


What can I do for my child?

Believe them

Stay as calm as possible

Tell them you are proud of them for telling you what is hurting them

Tell them you are sorry it happened to them

Reassure them that it was not their fault

Tell them you will seek help to stop the abuse

For both you and your child, these feeling are very normal reactions.  If your child has been sexually abused, it does not mean you are a bad parent or that you child is a bad child.

After he has told you…

Don’t be angry that he didn’t tell you sooner

Let him know that he can talk to you if he wishes

Don’t assume he will ever tell you everything that happened

Respect his feelings but don’t be afraid of doing what you feel is right for him.

Sometimes you may feel like you need to walk on eggshells, but children often feel more secure when the normal, everyday limits still apply

You may wish to access sexual abuse counseling for your child

Further investigation can be conducted by contacting your local police and seeing what they think you should do.  Also, if you are a Christian, then find a good Christian counselor who can give godly advice and not just worldly advice on the matter.


As a parent, you may have these concerns

Why didn’t he tell me sooner

Why is his behavior changing

Will the sexual abuse affect his adult life and sexuality

Will he go on to abuse others some day

Does having a child who has been abused make me a bad parent


What can I do for me?

Caring for a sexually abused child can be a difficult and isolating experience for both yourself and your child.  You may want to:

Access general information on sexual abuse to back up your own feelings in the matter.

There are many agencies that deal with these things…you can talk to them as well, but make sure they are not just out to seek vengeance, but to fix you and your child in a godly way.

If you get your child to see a counselor or support group, see if you can also be part of it so you know what is happening, but know they don’t ever have to share what they talk about with you. Sometimes it is better you don’t hear all the details.

You join a support group for parents of abused kids

Spend time with supportive family members and friends.  However, don’t go around trashing people and getting others to hate someone.  Let God and the system deal with it.  You stay focused on your child, and God and God will get you through the tough times.

Have confidence…have trust and faith in God…for sometimes things get worse before they get better, but given time and support…both you and your child can recover.

Best advice is to always trust and have faith in God that He will get you through this.  Let God be God and you be the parent.